Ahoy Mayties! Announcing Cap'n Abby's pirate party entertainment service. Hire a pirate here by Saturday, and get a free pirate party activity. We have a nice range of pirate party activities: balloon animals, face painting and/or a pirate magic show featuring a pirate monkey, a performin' parrot (both puppets a'course), and magic with snakes and spiders. A pirate sword and other items magically appear. Be astonished by magic tricks with pirate treasure and other pirate props. This show is themed around creepy critters, squalor on ships and dangerous dastardly deeds. So much more than just a pirate costume character, it's a variety show with jokes, magic, puppetry and lots of audience participation. The best pirate party idea since me wooden leg.

As a mom wrote about Abby's pirate birthday party entertainment:

"You kept fourteen 4 year olds sitting still for almost an hour. Amazing! Several kids kept referring to Huggie (monkey) for hours afterward."

The latest addition to the pirate show: clean ventriloquism. Now the pirate monkey talks. He tries to swindle Abby. He speaks directly to audience members. He explains his pirate-ish lack of hygiene in a very funny routine about trying his first bath, without any profanity of course.

More than a pirate show -- Abby tells pirate jokes while crafting a pirate-themed balloon sculpture for each child. She makes swords, parrots, sea squid, scurvy dogs and lots of other deluxe balloons.

An apology about the pirate party: Sorry me hearties, dangerous tricks are avoided. You'll see no fire, no knives, no arm choppers, no fake blood or gore. The only sword in the show is a dulled-for-safety one that appears from nowhere and is promptly put away. (Apologies fer the lack o' gore).

Be warned! The pirate show aint fer the squeamish! The puppets may pull pranks on Cap'n Abby with crawly critters. Huggie monkey may do his stinky monkey routine. There may be talk of eatin' worms, squid, spiders, snails, fish eggs, and frog legs.